The Island

Right off the bat -- I didn't choose to see this movie. (Yes, it was foisted on me! I was tied down, strapped in, eyes stretched wide open! Oh, wrong film.) It was part of a double feature at our local (okay, so 30-some miles away isn't really local) drive-in, and my summer urge was to see as many drive-in movies as I could. Sadly, it was not nearly as good as the first feature (Red-Eye) and it was far longer, which goes a long way towards proving the adage that brevity is the soul of wit. (OK, so Red-Eye isn't necessarily witty, but it's compact, doesn't try your patience.) I'm not one of those who slobber over Ewan McGregor (I know, what's wrong with me?) but I fully recognize his acting skills and those of his co-star Scarlett Johansson. So what are they doing in a Michael Bay film? Wouldn't a short conversation with John Cusack or John Malkovich or, heck, Ben Affleck, dissuade them of the ridiculous notion that acting would be required? Bay gives interviews now that run interference against reporters assuming his films are strictly in the blow- things-up vein. What a useless endeavor. If he's not blowing things up, he's showing off his sets, costumes and stunt driving. How can he be proud of a film that exists solely for these reasons? (Why would he care? Everything he makes rakes it in.) The plot itself is a tired rehashing of Blade Runner, The Matrix and Coma. (Remember Coma? So much spookier.) Clones who don't know they're clones are promised retirement on a beautiful island, while instead they're being used as spare parts for the original person (believe me, it matters very little that I gave away the reveal there). The only redeeming features of the movie are the futuristic scenes of Detroit city (where some backgrounds were filmed), the cool flycycles and Steve Buscemi. He's a comic genius, and I have no idea why he has such a fondness for Mr. Bay.

year: 2005
length: 136 min.
rating: 2.0
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0399201/combined