Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

As Steve Zahn says in That Thing You Do, "[that] was...terrible." (It's not the phrase, actually, it's the way he says it that makes it so funny, 'cause he kinda drags the pause out and...oh, never mind.) This film has one saving grace and that's Vince Vaughn, who plays the most believable straight man, possibly ever. This is completely necessary as nearly every scene contains Ben Stiller as laugh track. Now, I have nothing against Stiller. (Loved Meet the Parents and Keeping the Faith.) But his incarnation as an overly manic gym owner only points out which features you never liked about the actor in the first place. Vaughn plays a competing gym owner whose gym is about to be taken over by Stiller's mega-corporation. The only way to prevent it is to enter into a dodgeball championship. Yeah. Well, I'm still unsure whether dodgeball is a real adult sport or not, but it's treated as such by the filmmakers. Seriously. At least I think it's seriously. Watch the first extra feature and see for yourself. On second thought, skip that one and just watch the alternate ending to the film. Now that's funny.

year: 2004
length: 92 min.
rating: 2.0
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0364725/combined

Wonderfalls

This is the kind of television that should be made. And may I go so far as to say that only this kind of television should be made. Take a Parker Posey doppelgänger, a popular tourist attraction, a gimmick to keep things interesting (oh, and don't forget the lesbian sibling), smush all that together with witty repartees and you have Wonderfalls. I've only watched 1.3 episodes so far, but I started adoring it after the first 15 minutes. Which means that once again, you'll get my diatribe on why the hell networks can't recognize good shows and give them a decent time to be discovered so they're not cancelled without being given a chance. Or (all together now) why is the viewing public such a bunch of dolts? Enough of that, it's so pointless. This sitcom's mostly about how people handle relationships, which when it comes down to it, is probably what all sitcoms are about. Still, is has a quirky misanthropic viewpoint that makes you feel uncomfortable and not alone at the same time. Might not be everyone's cup of tea (might appeal to twenty-somethings most), but I guarantee you'll see something of yourself in each episode.

year: 2004
length: 13 45-min. episodes
rating: 3.5
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0361256/combined

The Incredibles

In some ways, it's boring to review Pixar films. They never fail to charm the pants off me, so they always get the highest marks. This one is somewhat different from the rest, however. I found it just as kid-friendly, but there's a maturity about this film that tones down the slickness we're so familiar with by now. There's more thought given to building the story, so by the time we get to the big explosions at the end we are completely ready for them. When I watched this in a theater full of kids, I got a little worried that during the slower, more character-driven sequences they would lose interest and start chatting. Didn't actually happen, so maybe I was just being super-sensitive. For those of you who've been living on Pluto for the last 6 months, the Incredibles are a family of superheroes living in obscurity, forbidden to use their superpowers to help others after some questionable rescues. Naturally, they mourn their previous life, or at least Bob does (aka Mr. Incredible), and things get put in motion to pull them back to that life. On first viewing, I didn't notice the more subtle stuff because my mouth was hanging open as in all Pixar films. With the DVD in hand, I found references to Star Wars, Raiders of the Lost Ark, all the Bond films, and even Tarzan. And since Pixar films EVERYTHING they do, the special features give you an inside look at the Pixar "plant" and the process behind making the movie. Which gives you a chance to appreciate the people behind the story, the lighting, the music, you name it. If there's something missing (and perhaps I haven't found it yet), it's the lack of footage of the voice actors. Where's Holly Hunter saying how totally swell it was to voice Elastigirl? Oh well, I guess they can't be completely perfect. Still, for me the capper was the original drawings of Elastigirl -- that lithe, huge-boobed supergirl style -- that morphed into a normal looking person with a big butt, just like us regular women.

year: 2004
length: 121 min.
rating: 4.0
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317705/combined

Mary Poppins

Glenn Kenny (of Premiere Magazine) wasn't kidding when he said that this DVD was one of the best anniversary editions he'd ever seen. I've loved my VHS tape to death, and when I read his review I knew I had to buy the disc. The movie itself is still marvelous after all these years -- great for kids and youth, with enough sparkle, wit and artistic style to keep any adult captivated. And the extras! A delightful deleted song, a musical reunion with Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke and Richard Sherman (the co-composer of the music), world premiere parties (heavens, did things look so very different 40 years ago?), and tons more. There is a lot of Walt Disney lauding, but what do you expect? And a bit of repetition, but it's all engaging. Best of all is watching the young Dame Andrews ham it up. Having built her acting career on being prim and proper it's a shock to the system to see how silly she could be. And this is the second time I'd heard that she would ruin many a take by flying off in a fit of giggles. She's also a wonderful commentator, remembering so much and relating it in such a sensible, no-nonsense Mary Poppins style.

year: 1964
length: 140 min.
rating: 3.5
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058331/combined

Proof

If I were a filmmaker, I would have approached telling this story with trepidation. A blind man whose life's endeavor is taking photographs, who has been surrounded by less than trustworthy people all his life, who has searched in vain for someone he can believe in, while lacking the proof needed to cement that trust. Already you can see the intricacies of telling such a tale simply and clearly. The only way it can be done is to hire actors who can put as much into expressions and movement as they do into the words they say. Jocelyn Moorhouse picked well. Hugo Weaving as the blind photographer, Geneviève Picot (an actress whose talents haven't reached Hollywood yet) as the bitter, scheming housekeeper, and Russell Crowe as the photographer's new friend. Each of these actors has fleshed out a tangible character that fits inside Moorhouse's story with no visible gaps. Each series of scenes took my breath away -- in particular, the drive-in theater and consequent crazed driving sequence, and the arguable climax of the film as Picot invites Crowe to her house for the first time. If there is a fault to the film it is that it's somewhat chilly, but that choice was necessary if only for that scene to work. It's been a long time since I've been moved so much by the ending (in this case, the dénouement) of a film. We get the proof of what we've been hoping is true, but do we, the viewer, see the proof? The essence of the film -- that proof is unattainable -- is gracefully summarized in those last few scenes. I can't recommend this film highly enough.

year: 1991
length: 86 min.
rating: 4.0
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102721/combined

Red Dwarf

So cheesy! You're laughing as you watch, but inwardly you're groaning. Typical BBC production -- you can hear all the ambient sounds on the stage, and there are virtually no props. (Think Dr. Who.) Small budget, I guess. That they created a two-man stand-up comedy show that ran for more than 8 seasons is a huge feat. What makes it fun to watch? At odd moments, there's brilliance (double-over and giggle madly type brilliance). Or a touching scene that gets you thinking what it would be like to be stranded on a spaceship millions of light years from Earth. Or to have no companions other than a hologram and a mutated cat. Yup. The hologram is uptight and a stickler for the rules, the cat is a James Brown act-alike. And the only remaining human crew member is a total slob, which is where much of the comedic tension comes from. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone who's not a hard-core science-fiction fan, however. It's a bit too spare to be enjoyed by all.

year: 1988-1999
length: seasons 1-6 out on DVD
rating: 2.0
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094535/combined

Dinner Rush

If you haven't read Anthony Bourdain's book Kitchen Confidential and don't think you'll be getting to it anytime soon, try this movie instead. It has all the elements of Bourdain's ultra-hip, ultra-honest take on the behind-the-scenes restaurant world: what it takes to be a line cook, who should own restaurants and who should just work in them, and the vaudeville show that nouvelle cuisine has become. It's not Big Night, but it's certainly taking its cue from that film. Complete with mouth-watering masterpiece. What I'm unsure of is whether it's insufferably smart or right on the money. Upon reflection of a few days I've decided that it's scattered -- too many stories, and only a few of them resolve in the "surprise" ending. Edoardo Ballerini, who plays the chef, usually plays guys called Vincent and Victor, so a chance to play a guy named Udo must have been a career capper. Seriously, the guy looks like an assassin, which is why he's cast as a bad guy most of the time. This must have been a big break for him, I imagine. And you can't make a small-budget Italian-flavor film nowadays without Danny Aiello (actually, when wasn't that true?) so of course he plays the restaurant owner with the shady past. Exception being Big Night, and if you're torn between renting that one or this one, definitely go with that one.

year: 2000
length: 99 min.
rating: 3.0
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0229340/combined

Touching the Void

The first thing that runs through your mind when seeing a climbing picture is: why? The second thing, and specifically for this film, is why do they climb as a pair? As they stress, you can pull your partner down with the slightest misstep. And if you're climbing in one push, if you make a bad mistake you're bound to die because there's no one at base camp to help you because there is no base camp. So, why tie yourself to another person in the first place? (I'm sure there's a good reason, but the film doesn't let on as to what it is.) A half-hour into the movie, you know how important it was that neither was climbing alone because without Simon, Joe would not have survived. And it's how Joe does survive that makes this climb legendary among mountaineers, and one of the most controversial decisions ever made in the climbing world. Part interview and part re-creation, the film is spellbinding -- similar to Everest in putting the human condition and the human spirit front and center. It is also a testament to the type-A personality, if I do say so. The little voice that keeps Joe moving from tiny goal to tiny goal sounds like a version of my own control freak nature. Erroneous to think that you could ever control your survival in places men were (most likely) never meant to go, but a stunning example of human nature at its indomitable best.

year: 2003
length: 106 min.
rating: 3.5
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0379557/combined

Sharpe's Rifles

The first of 14 (!) episodes based on the character of Richard Sharpe, as immortalized in Bernard Cornwell's novels of the career trajectory of a British soldier promoted, unexpectedly, to the officer ranks. Cornwell is less well known than C.S. Forester (Horatio Hornblower) and Patrick O'Brian (Master and Commander). In each of the adaptations of these novels, however, the casting directors are hyper-attuned to both the female and male audience. They cast über-macho actors to appeal to the men and make sure, in addition, that they can smolder with the best of them. (In other words, ranking up there with Denzel and Colin. Last names superfluous, of course.) Case in point, Sean Bean. He usually plays a villain (the über-macho aspect), yet has that indefinable talent to make women drool. I first noticed him, as so many others on this continent, in Lord of the Rings: Fellowship as Boromir, the angst-ridden human desperate for the ring and unaware of its malevolence. I thought he was by far the best actor of the first movie (well, maybe that should rightly go to Ian McKellen). And handsome, but no more so than others in the film. Hence my incredulity when I see him as Sharpe -- younger, without beard, thrust in the middle of a ridiculous soap opera, and gluing everything together so adeptly as to make me hang on and watch instead of switching off after the first 10 minutes. Which I should have because now I'm hooked. And hooked on tripe! While the history lesson may be interesting, the episode contains a female love interest (how many female soldiers do you think there were in the Napoleonic wars?!) and plot set-ups to make you laugh out loud (the mutinous soldier left behind with the treasure?!). I giggled so much while watching this that my husband thought I was watching a comedy. Regardless, I will now watch each and every one of this series' episodes. And I am not ashamed to say in large part because of Bean. I think Antonia Quirke of the West End Extra puts it best: "Sean Bean...is super-attractive, thanks to his air of guarded self-consciousness, as though this being-an-actor business were a bit like sitting at the bar with one elbow on the counter, watching the people coming in and out from the corner of one eye."

year: 1993
length: 102 min.
rating: 2.5
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108108/combined

Jersey Girl

The only reason I'm writing this review is so I can finally have a "J" entry! Actually, I want to dispel any notion that this is a really, really bad film because of Bennifer. (If you have no idea what that means, you're a better person for it.) This is a pretty lousy film but not because of Ben Affleck or Jennifer Lopez. I'm tired of Lopez bashing -- she's quite a good actress with the right director. In Out of Sight she runs with the big boys, and here she's great in the few scenes Kevin Smith was allowed to leave in after all the media hoopla. It's Smith's script that's the problem. In a departure from his usual he wrote an ode to parental love. Unfortunately, this is so sweet and treacly that you hope he does another Jay and Silent Bob film next just to wash it out of his system. But it has its quirks (Liv Tyler as a video store clerk doing her PhD on pornography use among the middle-class men! George Carlin as a street-sweeper driver!) and it's kinda funny (the best: a scene of general clueless-ness on how to diaper a baby). If you don't like lousy films (and why should you?), then rent this for the DVD extras. Smith includes his very bizarre travelogues filmed for the Jay Leno show, and as short as they are, they're worth every penny of your rental.

year: 2004
length: 102 min.
rating: 2.0
IMDB link: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0300051/combined